bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
She bit a glass in half.
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she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
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In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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