No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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