I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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