just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Randomize
