when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
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I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
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Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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