We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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