He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
