great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
