Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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