Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
