why didn't you poke me back
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize