i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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