I think my vagina is haunted
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize