you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
