I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
