Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize