He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
