He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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