Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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