You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
