u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
