Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
