Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
