How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
