I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
