Small penises have feelings too.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
