im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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