I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Welp...herpes.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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