never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
