areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
