I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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