So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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