Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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