FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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