He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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