She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize