last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
