i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
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I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
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thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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