Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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