1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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