Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
