My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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