Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
