I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
