I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
