I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
