hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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