I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Swine flu is the new snow day.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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