we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
