? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
