I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
its liver damage thursday
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
