I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
