Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
