It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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