textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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