this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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