So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
