Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
