SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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