Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
