soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
