It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
ttyl tear gas
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
