she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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