If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
